“To Get What You Want Don’t Go With Your Gut.” Wait…What?!

“Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge.”

Leonardo Da Vinci, Italian painter, sculptor, architect, and engineer whose genius epitomized the Renaissance humanist ideal, 1452 – 1519

When a person shouts at you, your gut reaction may be to yell right back. This is one situation when following your gut may not be such a good idea, and may result in a damaged relationship. Instead, try responding to the desired outcome.

NO: Event – Reaction – Outcome

YES: Event – Outcome – Reaction


When an unsettling event occurs:


  1. Pause.
  2. Ask yourself

: what is the outcome I want? Instead of reacting to the event, act in alignment with your desired outcome.

  • Consider the person who yelled at you: do you want an improved relationship with her, or do you want to make her feel as bad as you do?
  • (If it’s the latter, go ahead and yell back.) If it’s the former, empathize with his anger and respond to the underlying issue in a calm manner. Enjoy this great article by Peter Bregman.
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Sandra Schwan

1 Comment

  1. Hi Sandy,
    Love simple yet profound models like this one! Thanks for sharing.

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